We all have insecurities. As humans, we are susceptible to our critical inner voice.
It may not seem like it but there isn’t a person on this earth who doesn’t have insecurities. From the beautiful girls you see on Instagram to the guy who doesn’t seem to care what other’s think about him. We all worry about ourselves in one way or another.
No One-Size Fits All
We all desire a roadmap that details exactly how to overcome our insecurities. It would be amazing if there was something like that. But unfortunately, because of the uniqueness of every individual (which is a good thing!), our insecurities are our own. These are layers that are intertwined with who we are, our personalities, how we were brought up and the circumstances of our lives. There is no one-size fit all for how to overcome our insecurities.
However, there is a first step that I think is crucial to think about if we ever wanted to start on that journey.
The initial step is: recognising and acknowledging our insecurities.
Why Should I Face my Insecurities?
I’m not going to lie, facing our insecurities is probably not high on our to-do list at all…
But why should we?
Firstly, we can begin to identify the elements that make up our worries. You don’t need a health degree to know that stress is bad for our wellbeing. Worries can lead to all sorts of problems such as insomnia, anxiety and depression.
Secondly, we can also try to stop these insecurities from manifesting in ourselves. They can affect our work performance, social relationships and also the relationship that we have with ourselves. We can finally take charge of that critical inner voice that’s constantly bagging us and stop the cycle of insecurity that goes on and on.
Thirdly, sometimes we unknowingly project our insecurities onto others. These people may be friends, family, work colleagues or even strangers. Our mind attempts to conceal our own self-doubts through placing the same doubts onto others. This way, we’re able to divert the anguish of accepting our insecurities because it’s the easier path.
For me, I was definitely not immune to my own insecurities. As a young girl, as someone who grew up in the time when social media was beginning to reign, as an Australian-born Asian, or even simply, just as a human – I had my fair share of insecurities of varying natures.
Money was one of my biggest insecurities in high school. I grew up in a loving family who unfortunately made poor financial decisions. When money is somewhat a big part of your worries at home, it also becomes a worry in other parts of your lives too. I remember being very envious of my friends’ ability to purchase new clothes, new make-up and the likes. This insecurity – of not being able to have what my friends had – was manifested in mixed feelings of loving my friends but also being jealous of them at the same time.
Growing up, appearance became the biggest issue. Like many girls, being surrounded by gorgeous friends and seeing flawless Instagram models made me feel inadequate. My insecurity led to that continuous cycle of self-depreciation and angst. Perhaps what I now see as one of my poorest moments was inflicting that self-doubt onto others. Up until the moment when I faced and conquered this insecurity, I engaged in nit-picking and judging other people to make myself feel better about myself. Unfortunately this doesn’t solve anything other than creating a toxic environment for myself and my mind but for other undeserving people too. Thankfully, I have matured, grown to love my appearance and as a result, I’m no longer unkind.
How to Face Your Insecurities
There are so many ways to do this… reading this post is actually a great way to start.
There are so many ways to face our insecurities but here are some things that I do often:
- Self-reflecting on my actions, what I say, what happened during my social interactions
- Keeping a journal and seeing common themes pop up when I review the week
- Talking to my partner, close friends and family about my behaviour and actions
- Meditation and mindfulness
I hope that by sharing some of my past insecurities with you, I’ve shown you that it can be done. It’s hard, it takes time but it is actually so freeing when you’re able to finally step over it.